Unfinished
by Bellesrad
Summary: Donna decides to skip Harvey's ethics hearing because she can't bear to watch. Instead she shuts herself from the outside world and goes into an introspective mood. Simultaneously, Harvey's day during the ethics hearing has him exploring his emotions and acknowledging how much he misses Donna.
1. Chapter 1

The pressure increasing.

Ribs constricting.

The pain swelling little by little while the burn choking her makes her gasp.

No air.

There is no air to breathe and she desperately fumbles around, arms flailing amid the water.

Where is the shore?

Murky water surrounds and swallows her whole as she continues to sink further and further down. The darkness enveloping her, keeping her prisoner.

She can't fight it. There is no point... And yet, something snaps in her and her resolve returns.

She can't go down.

She won't go down like this!

And even through the pain she tries to swim up through the endless space, up towards the light. The burn intensifying in her throat, in her heart but she knows she can't give up.

* * *

Donna wakes up, throat dry, heaving and trying to breathe at the same time. Sweat covers her body as a chill runs up and down her spine. Tears are streaming down her face and a sob escapes her mouth and she tries to catch her breath. Nervous rays of light flicker through the curtains and fall upon her bed reminding her that today was the day. Today's the ethics hearing and Harvey's demise. Because of her. And her breath catches again. Reaching up to cover her mouth, she carelessly swings the bed covers and makes a dash for the bathroom. Making it just in time, she relieves whatever small amount of content that was still left in her stomach. With effort, she picks herself from the the floor, flushes the toilet and reaches for the sink to clean herself up.

The freckles on her face stand out against the pallor that covers her entire body. Her hair keeps sticking to her forehead and neck, the sweat making her body feel unbearably warm. A rush of anger flows through her veins then and she takes off her clothes. Opening the shower door, she walks in and hopes the water will wash away all the pain, the confusion, fear and anger that has taken over her body and soul since yesterday.

* * *

Donna has been staring at the computer screen for god knows how long. The blank page interrupted only by the flashing of the pointer that seems to continuously remind her that she has to begin typing at some point. She sighs and closes her eyes, hands coming up to grab her head in a desperate motion. _Why? Why had she done it? What had been going through her mind at the time? Fuck! Shit!_

She needs to stop thinking. But Alex's words keep coming back to her: _you told him because you needed to move on_. Only, she didn't want to move on! Donna Paulsen has never learned to say no to Harvey Specter. She hadn't during their days at the DA's office, much less in the almost 14 years they have known each other. Of course she wouldn't learn in the short, short time she had begun dating Thomas Kessler!...

_What the fuck was I thinking?!_ She curses and shakes her head. She can feel the burn of tears in her eyes. Blinded by rage she slams her hand against the laptop and sends it flying across the room. The anger burns through her entire body and she feels it along with the shame, the embarrassment, the need to shout but nothing seems to be coming out of her mouth. Drowning, she feels likes she drowning again just like in her nightmare… Her vision becomes blurry and her breathing faint. Sinking to the floor she brings her hands up to her face, letting the tears burst, she allows the anguished pain shake her body with relentless sobs, and cries.

* * *

Three hours and twenty-thousand tears later, Donna picks up the Surface pro laptop and was surprised to see that it had survived her ire. Gathering her wits, she writes it and saves it to her documents folder. Writing it is one thing. Sending her resignation letter to Louis is another. She promises herself to do so when the red of her wine finally kicks in and provides her the necessary courage she's so lacking at this moment. Pouring herself a glass of her favorite California blend, she decides to let it mute her thoughts and douse her pain.

* * *

She has been sitting on the sofa, knees pulled up, her arms holding a pillow with the glass of wine resting on it as she holds it with both hands. And she has been staring at it for a while now. Red wine, her constant companion, an accomplice in fun banter and a partner in crime… reduced now to a comrade in pain. She places the glass on the side table and rests her head against the decorative pillows.

_But then Harvey came to me, and all he seemed to care about is you. So if you can't tell me who you are to him… Maybe, you can tell me who he is to you_ Thomas' silvery baritone still rang in her head, and all she could think was how she could never explain her relationship with Harvey to anyone else. Lines so blurred that she couldn't even explain it to herself. And now Harvey was about to lose it all. And she had brought it upon him.

The sudden buzzing breaks through the stillness of her apartment, her thoughts and she frowns. She doesn't remember where she last placed her phone and lazily gets up to find it. She stumbles around, mainly because her legs have become numb in the position she'd been sitting and not from the wine. In fact, she had barely sipped the red liquid in the past hour. Everything feels in turmoil, her mind, her stomach, her spirit.

Watching him lose it and throw that empty glass of Scotch against the wall… seeing, feeling his desperation had broken her heart. And of course, his voice filled with disbelief and something else, something she now recognizes as loss, would forever be embedded in her brain: You lost faith in me!… for all the time that we've been together, that has never happened.

Blinking her eyes closed and taking a deep breath, she tries to calm herself down. She is fresh out of tears and has managed to find a moment of clarity and peace amid the pain. But pain, that inextricable force, seems to have decided to make of her heart its new dwelling. The buzzing of her phone interrupts her thoughts once again, and she resumes the search for the device.

She finally finds it under the bed covers, as though hiding from her. As she picks it up she notices that it's almost noon. Probably 11 a.m. Chicago time and she slides the phone to answer Jessica's phone call. She finds solace and relief when she hears the familiar voice greeting her with a clear and commanding, "Hello, Donna."

"Hi Jessica," she answers back and sits on her bed.

"I hear there have been some inconveniences at Zane Specter Litt Wheeler Williams," she says and then chuckles, "it does sound like a mouthful!"

Donna can't help but smile at the ribbing but it disappears almost as fast as it arrives.

There's a moment of silence and Donna knows that Jessica has sensed her discomfort.

"I imagine you must be putting all the blame on yourself during all of this, Donna," the former lawyer says in her usual cool and efficient tone.

"Please, don't..." Donna begins but is interrupted by her former boss.

"Donna, listen to me… This was bound to happen at one point. Hardman has been swimming around like a hungry shark waiting for blood to spill. And the next best catch besides me is Harvey."

Donna sighs and passes a hand through her hair.

"You don't understand, Jessica," she says with a broken voice yet trying to remain strong, "Harvey didn't break privilege… I did! I was the one who told Thomas...It was me!"

The silence that follows makes her heart sink to her stomach and she covers her mouth.

"Want to hear what I really think, Donna?" Jessica finally says, the serenity in her voice calming her spirit for a moment, and Donna nods even though she knows that Jessica wouldn't be able to see her.

"And even if you don't, here it goes," she begins, "You and Harvey have always danced around each other. You have this incredibly close relationship but at the same time you both draw an invisible line which has always baffled me... You know he wouldn't come work for Pearson Hardman unless I hired you?"

Donna sobbed-laughed and said, "no…I didn't. But I did learn later that junior associates don't get secretaries. Louis was pretty miffed about it back then... I just thought you liked to spoil him."

Laughter breaks on the other end of the line and Jessica continues, "No, they don't! And that's what I told him so he said that no way was he joining me without you. So I offered him a bargain and he agreed on the spot. When I met you, I knew… I knew why he wanted you near."

Jessica's words fade away because Donna is so stunned by this sudden confession.

"He's always loved you, Donna...That's the reason he brought you over, why he insisted I rehire you after the memo debacle, the reason why he defended you tooth and nail during the Coastal Motors suit… That's why he's willing to take the fall this time."

_Well, he pretty much said he was about to lay himself down on the train tracks for you and he wanted me to help tie him down._

"He loves you Donna...but that sucker hasn't yet figured it out."

Donna has difficulty breathing and is at a loss for words. She frowns and looks around confused.

"Just promise me one thing, Donna," Jessica's level-headed voice brings her back to the moment. "Promise me you won't yet send that resignation email I know you probably already wrote… The firm would be losing one hell of a COO if you do that, and those fools wouldn't survive a day without you. We all make mistakes but that's what friendship and forgiveness are for… Would you promise me that? For now?"

Donna exhales and closes her eyes as she lays back on her bed. Pinching the bridge of her nose with her free hand she finally replies, "Ok Jessica, but I don't know how I will feel about it tomorrow..."

"Hey! I'm just asking you to give it a day. But if you're still convinced that you are ready to leave there's always a spot for you here in Chicago. I could always use a savvy and insightful mastermind to be my right hand," the statuesque former managing partner says in that conspiratorial tone of hers.

Donna laughs and feels some of her courage return. Who knew that talking to Jessica would make her feel better.

"Thank you, Jessica. I'll keep that in mind... Thanks for calling."

"I'm always here for you Donna."

She hears the phone call disconnect and sighs. Laying in bed for a little bit with eyes closed she reflects on all the pieces of information that Jessica had just shared with her. Shaking her head she reaches her final decision: Jessica must have the wrong idea. Harvey doesn't love her, at least not that way. He might care about her but love her, love her?

No. He just doesn't want to lose what they have. She is his unconditional companion, always at the ready to share a drink, a laugh, and listen to Gordon's records late at night.

No, Harvey Specter doesn't love her like that. He just doesn't know how to survive without his best friend. Otherwise, he wouldn't have turned to Paula Agard and the thought still brings chills to her body. And he would've returned the kiss in full when he had the chance, when she'd given him the chance…

No, Harvey just needs her near out of habit. It is only when he fears losing that companionship that his abandonment issues kick-in. It's what makes him fight heaven and earth to protect her, to keep her close.

Yes, that's it! And she's convinced this is the final truth:

Harvey Specter doesn't love her.

* * *

Donna dozes off for a while and when she wakes up her bedroom is engulfed by the darkness that always comes after dusk turns into night. Heading for the bathroom she decides to shower and change into her silk pajama bottoms and top. The chill of the night has her pulling on a comfy gray cardigan. She's not hungry but still walks to the kitchen to serve herself a fresh glass of wine. She takes a sip as she looks out the windows and takes in the twinkling New York City lights.

Recalling that she hasn't checked her phone even since before Jessica called and having ignored the alerts throughout the day, she walks back to her bedroom. She's surprised to see that the notifications show that there are at least 10 missed calls, 6 voicemail messages and about 4 imessages. All. From. Him. Each of the voicemail messages range from a "Where are you? The ethics hearing is about to begin and you're not here" to "Dammit Donna! Pick up the phone!" His voice changing from that soft deep baritone to the quintessential timbre he uses when he's in full Harvey Specter, New York's best closer, persona.

She also finds a couple of missed calls and a very cryptic message from Rachel which had been sent at least two hours ago. The seriousness of the text puts a frown on her face. _Donna, please call me as soon as you can_ was all it said. Pondering what this could be about, Donna finds a comfortable position on the sofa again and decides to give her friend a call.

That's when she hears it.

The loud and insistent repetitive sounds of someone knocking at her door. The sound so loud it seemed more like a thundering than mere rapping on the wooden door. Tearing herself off she throws her phone on the sofa and once again barefooted, she rushes towards the front door. A million thoughts run through her head about the urgency of the knocks and the late hour of night.

Was someone hurt? Was the building on fire?

With a sudden, swift motion she opens the door. Worry is etched on her face until sudden realization befalls her.

Harvey Reginald Specter is standing there…

* * *

A/N: Many of you have been asking for those moments prior to Harvey showing up at Donna's door and well, it got me into writing. I really hope I was able to honor our favorite character and would appreciate to read your thoughts and comments in a review.

And for all of us who know the pains heartbreak brings, this is for that young girl in each of us hoping and wishing that our love becomes a reality. Let's never lose hope!

Let me know if you want me to continue XO


	2. Chapter 2

His biggest talent is weaving and unraveling plans.

Paired with a dauntless spirit ready to take on anything.

Everything.

Fighting battles before they even begin and writing new rules for any situation if necessary. Mainly because he has always been able to see the big picture. He's smart and an ingenious risk taker: play the man not the odds, one of his many mottoes.

One thing that Harvey Specter is sure of is that he's in for the win. And he's always one step ahead of the competition. He can easily read them, anticipate what makes them tick, go for their throats and succeed.

And he always comes through.

Always.

Except this time.

There's always a first time, they say. And he's always thought his first was when Mike had gone to prison. Though later he'd found out that the jury would've acquitted Mike and he would've won the case. Maybe he shouldn't have pocketed that one as his first big loss after all. Maybe this is why it hit him like a freight train when Robert told them about the Ethics hearing he would have to face.

And it's also the moment in which he had lost his composure. Shattering rule number 1 in the Harvey Specter handbook along with the whiskey tumbler he threw against the wall. He needed to regroup and think. This is why he had asked them to leave him alone.

Because he always comes up with his best plans when he's alone, after all.

* * *

He's looking out the window into the late night city lights but not really enjoying their whimsical beauty. Harvey Specter is deep in thought, mustering all the information in his mind and trying to piece everything together again.

He had always enjoyed puzzles, even as a child. Never getting bored or tiring of them. Maybe this is why he loves baseball and poker so much. They require higher level thinking and an appreciation of the larger context. And it has always come easy to him but this time he seems to be lacking. It's like he can't seem to find that one piece of the puzzle that will unlock the rest of the game.

He's tired but he refuses to give up. Sitting at one of his office armchairs he decides to take a mental break. Deep down he knows why he can't seem to solve this problem. But part of him doesn't want to acknowledge it because he has made it a rule to shut everything personal out when planning a defence or solving a case.

_Caring only makes you weak. They think you care, they walk all over you._

But Harvey Specter, the man, cares.

Cares too much.

Cares too deep.

And it's because he cares about her that he can't find his way out.

He cares about what she thinks of him.

He cares about how she feels towards him.

He cares whether or not she has faith in him.

_Anyone else ever loses faith in me, it doesn't matter. But with you it's different._

And that's because Donna has always been more than just his employee... She's his best friend and confidante. His partner in every sense of the word and the person he knows he can trust implicitly. Donna is that constant voice in his head and in his heart that help him navigate the murky waters of this treacherous world. And he had promised that he would never let anything bad happen to her.

_I told you I'd never let anything happen to you, and I won't ever, so you'll never have to feel that scared again._

He is not about to fail her this time. His sense and need to protect her even stronger, almost fierce, knowing that Thomas Kessler is not willing to do so. He still remembers how painful it was to watch Donna break down with what she went through with Stephen Huntley.

It's like a punch in the gut and a heart wrenching pain that takes over him whenever he thinks of the possibilities of Donna being put under scrutiny. Like he had told Kessler, she had worked too hard and for so long through the years to occupy the position she now holds.

She can't lose all she has achieved.

It's not fair to the strong and intelligent woman she is.

It's is not fair to the warm and caring soul she has.

This is Donna.

And she deserves it all...

* * *

He thinks back to the night before when Louis questioned him why he'd told Donna about Simon's deceitful play. _Why did you have to tell her? That's what I don't get. Why?_

_Why had he?_ The easiest question to answer would preferably be why wouldn't he? Like he'd told Louis, as a name partner he knew he shouldn't do it but as a friend, he felt the need to let her know. After all, Donna knows everything, and besides, her opinion always allows him to put things in perspective. A moral compass of sorts. Except this time both were compromised: she was in a relationship with one of the parties and in his case, the need to protect her kicked in and did so by overcompensating Kessler's deal.

He has been trying to convince himself, ever since he found out about her dating Kessler, that he wants her to be happy. But deep down he knows it bothers him. In the past he had experienced that the feeling but he knows that it would eventually subside and Donna would always come back to him. But Thomas Kessler was no Mark nor Stephen, he was a good man, a decent one. So decent and honest that he wasn't willing to perjure himself in order to protect Donna from her downfall. And Harvey wants to respect the choice in partner she has made however, he can't help but feel that Kessler is somehow betraying her with his so called honor, candor and integrity.

Because Harvey Specter truly believes that sometimes you must do what you have to, just like he'd once told Mike: Sometimes the good guys gotta do bad things to make the bad guys pay. Besides, following every single rule all the time won't get you anywhere. And this was one of those times. This is what had him feeling so distressed. The fact he had used up all his cards: talking to Tanner, getting Simon fired by his Board, trying to convince Thomas to put all the blame on him in order to protect Donna at all costs. He knows what's coming and he's ready to take the blame even though Donna had told him it was really her fault.

_Harvey, I'm responsible for this, I want to help…_

She already feels incredibly ashamed and guilty.

_I get it, if I really wanted to help I never would have told Thomas in the first place._

He can see it in her eyes and in her body language. The usual self-assured Donna is gone. And maybe it's the fact he's known her for so long, but he can tell that she's using concealer to cover up the dark circles that have begun to form around her eyes. He's also worried about her health and has made it his job to order a sandwich or salad and soup for lunch these last couple of days. He's told Ray to be at the ready if she needs a ride anywhere, something which he mentioned to her in passing since he knows she's overstayed her time at the firm the past few nights. She's stubborn but had finally taken his offer the night before when she'd left at nearly midnight. Something he finds out through Ray when he's finally made it back to his penthouse at nearly 3 a.m. himself.

* * *

The Ethics hearing begins at the scheduled time and Harvey, with Louis by his side, can't help but feel somewhat uneasy. But no one would ever notice that because he had learned from Jessica Pearson that if you're good at what you do it's ok to be a cocky son-of-a-bitch. In addition, he has enough experience on him to know that there are always last minute hail-mary plays that can ensure the final score on your side. And right now he pretty much needs one and is willing to take this risk. He knows what's at stake and they if it all plays out the way that it's headed, he's willing to take the bullet.

When he notices that it's well about time to begin and Donna is not here. He gives her a call and leaves a voicemail asking her if she's on her way as the hearing is about to begin. That's why after Simon is done with his participation, he turns around to Thomas and asks her whereabouts. After all, this is the man she's been dating so he might have some insight into it, as much as Harvey hates admitting to himself. But Thomas tells him that Donna wouldn't be attending the hearing because she dares not to watch what would happen. Turning to Louis next, he whispers what he's just been informed and Louis nods his head in acquiescence.

To some extent, this calms his nerves and allows Harvey to feel more in control. As long as Donna is spared the badgering from Daniel Hardman or the committee and the shame this whole process might inflict on her, he knows he can take on anything that is thrown his way. The last thing he wants is for Donna to be subjected to a similar experience as the one she had faced against Andrew Malik. She doesn't need her work ethic or personal integrity questioned by these men.

* * *

The hearing unravels when Alex Williams is summoned to the stand and everything advances at spectacular speed. Robert Zane takes the hit and Daniel Hardman tries to pursue Harvey's demise even by calling on Thomas Kessler for aid. However, the way the question Hardman formats it allows Kessler to give a non-answer. But not without first getting an intimidating look from Harvey, something that he knows spooks Thomas and boosts him into giving that vague answer. Harvey can almost feel he can breathe in relief. At least Donna was safe. Whatever comes after this Harvey knows he can deal with. But as the hearing continues and comes to an end, he's both grateful and upset, the feelings merging in a sea of confusion. However, both him and Louis understand that they need to accept things as they have turned out to be. There would be time to question Robert's reasons for taking the blame later, in the privacy of the firm.

* * *

He tries calling Donna again once the hearing is adjourned. He wants to tell her all about the it and how everything had played out. He also wants to ask her if she already knew that Alex and Robert would pair up to craft their plan. She is Donna after all, and she always knows what's what. But mostly, he wants her to know that the nightmare is over and that she will be ok. Her job, her integrity and her reputation remain intact. But once again she doesn't answer his call and he leaves yet another voicemail. Harvey also sends her an iMessage while Ray drives him back to the firm, just to be sure she gets the information either way. But just like every other iMessage he's sent throughout the day, it remains as delivered only. Harvey frowns as he looks out the window, the sea of pedestrians and cars unnoticed as he wonders where she could be and why does she want to remain removed from it all.

* * *

There's plenty to do once he returns to the firm. From gathering the rest of the senior and junior partners for informative emergency meetings and also letting the associates know that the next couple of days would have damage control as their priority. Jessica Pearson's disbarment a couple of years ago has given the firm enough experience to know how to handle this situation. This is why, for Harvey his first concern as senior partner is to call his major clients and reassure them that the firm remains strong even through this difficult time.

He uses the short breaks between calls to check his phone or to ask his secretary if Donna is back at her office. Both are always negative answers and he makes sure to either call her, leave yet another voicemail or send her an iMessage. He gets a message from Rachel telling him that Robert had had a conversation with Laura, her and Mike before coming to this decision and that there were no hard feelings. As a lawyer, she understood why her dad had made that decision and as a daughter, she was proud of the man he was. Just make sure to live up to his standards, Harvey were her parting words. Mike calls him sometime through the evening. They discuss the hearing and how Robert had come to that decision and had requested Alex to aid him in such. Before saying goodbye Mike's last statement and then question leaves Harvey feeling insecure and slightly apprehensive.

_If Donna wasn't at the hearing and she's not at the firm, where is she? Rachel tried calling her several times but she never picked up. Have you talked to her, Harvey?_

Rachel's friendship is one thing Donna cares very much about so it makes him feel a little worried to hear that she hasn't answered her best friend's call. But his secretary walks in to tell him that one of his major clients wants to meet at the company's headquarters and she's already sent for Ray to drive him there. He thanks her and decides to put his thoughts about a certain redhead at bay while he deals with the client.

* * *

Harvey picks up the tumbler and takes a sip of Robert's Scotch. It's not Macallan but the senior partner still has impeccable taste in his choice of whiskey. He turns when he hears Alex's voice and they strike a conversation while they wait for Robert to return to his office. And he hates to sound needy or uninformed but he knows that Alex has become closer with Donna and has been the person to show her the most empathy and compassion, regardless of how much her telling Thomas about the deal had complicated matters for the younger attorney.

_I called Donna after the hearing, she didn't answer...when I got back all of you guys were gone._

Alex brushes it off by saying that there really wasn't any reason for them to stay. And Harvey is in the middle of thanking Alex for what he and Robert did at the hearing when the recently retired senior partner walks in. He easily tells Harvey to stop asking questions that are none of his concern and states that he's made his peace and is good with what he did. Harvey understands that this generous man has given up a lot to save his sorry ass in exchange for an atonement of some sort. There's nothing else for him but to say thank you and accept it as it is. He can at least invite Zane to a meal but Robert decides to take a raincheck. And for some reason his next words strike a chord in Harvey.

_Something like this happens, makes you know what's important, and for me...it's Laura._

Harvey understands that Robert might be willing to go home to his wife, just like Louis had taken off earlier that evening to spend time with a very pregnant Sheila. The last couple of days had kept them all on their feet and their significant others had been their sources of strength and support through it all. His thoughts immediately drift to Donna but Alex's ribbing about getting Robert a golden watch as a retirement present brings him back to the moment. He chuckles at the comment and asks Alex if he wants to go out for a burger instead.

_Sorry, Harvey. Robert's right. I need to get home to the woman I love_.

As he watches his colleague and fellow name partner walk away, Harvey can't help but feel a pang of melancholy and isolation. That same feeling he had the other night when Donna hadn't picked up her phone and he'd left a voicemail instead. A voicemail he wasn't even sure if she'd heard because she'd never even acknowledged it. And here he was alone again with his thoughts…

* * *

The feeling of melancholia remains in him as he leaves his office and gets ready to go home. As he passes Samantha Wheeler's office he notices that she's reading but mostly seems to be sharing his kind of mood. He decides to stop by and offer her some company and maybe some insight as he understands very well what it feels like to lose your friend and mentor.

As usual, the strong-headed blonde gives him a hard time and tries to dismiss him. But Harvey knows that she's in pain and reminds her that he's also gone through this experience when he lost Jessica Pearson in almost the same exact way Sam has lost Robert Zane.

They reminisce a little about who Jessica is and how much she means to him. And for some reason, this trip down memory lane makes Harvey realize that he's made it through so much during the past 14 years.

The many changes within the firm

Colleagues, such as Mike and Rachel, that have meant so much to him but has at one point needed to let free to go and branch out

Cases big or small that have been won or lost

Moments of extreme tension

Times of joy and happiness

Mistakes forgiven

Friendships forged

And then there were the people who would forever occupy a space in his heart and his mind…

_Donna._

So when Sam begins to ponder about what Robert means to her, Harvey can't help but feel his heart begin to pound louder and louder,

_He believed in me. He was the only one who ever did that. The only one who saw what I was. All my baggage... all my flaws…_

He nods in understanding and fully gets where she comes from. And Sam fights the tears that are forming in her eyes and adds

_He didn't just accept me. He loved me….not easy to find someone like that in this world._

Harvey once again can't help but get that feeling at the pit of his stomach. And his mind and heart search once again for whatever piece it is he senses is right in front of his eyes but some sort of imaginary veil prevents him from fully seeing it.

The next words Samantha's utters cut through his racing thoughts and beating heart.

_What am I supposed to do when I have a big victory or a terrible loss and the only person I want to run and tell isn't there?_

Harvey feels a rush of blood to his head and suddenly, just like that, the veil that prevented him from seeing it is gone.

_Donna._

Donna is his missing piece.

She's the one that fits perfectly into the lock and key puzzle that is his heart.

And a myriad of memories flood his mind.

Donna smiling at him.

Bantering.

Thoughts of strawberries and whipped cream along with long strands of red hair intermingled with passionate kisses and sensuous curves.

Endless teasing about his ties, or his handwriting or his balls. His basketballs.

Donna giving him unsolicited but insightful advice he surely needed at the time.

Anticipating his needs even when she no longer was his secretary and had no reason to do keep doing so.

Being there for him during the rough times: Jessica leaving and Mike going to prison

Guiding him towards happiness: helping him make amends with his mother and helping out his brother during the divorce.

Celebrating the good: rising to the top from junior associate to name partner.

Keeping him company during the sad: his father's passing and later coming to terms and giving up the rights to his music.

Being there with him to see him rise and become the successful lawyer he is.

His moral compass at best.

The voice that drives him to become a better man.

Believing in him to get things done.

Having faith in him above all.

Donna is his constant.

Donna is the woman he loves…

He can't believe it's taken him this long to realize it and he gets up while he excuses himself amid Samantha's heartfelt discourse.

"I have to go" is all he says and Samantha gives him a confused look and asks,"where?"

He's very sorry but now that he knows, he can't wait anymore.

"I just have to" he says without offering further explanation and rushes out of her office. As he sprints down the hallway towards the elevator, he feels as though an external force is driving him. His heart is pounding faster and faster, and he breathlessly watches the elevators numbers decrease at a steady rate wishing they could go faster.

He doesn't have time to wait for Ray. Getting on a cab, he gives the driver her address. Taking out his cell phone, he checks if she's read his messages and they still appear only as delivered. But he can't even begin to type another message. The adrenaline coursing through his veins making his hands shaky with boundless energy. He doesn't remember ever feeling this way. It's like every single one of his senses is in overdrive. And he nervously taps his hand against his knee as the cab driver courses through the city streets.

He can't wait to see her.

Tell her.

Show her.

He can feel his heart skip a beat when the cab finally comes to a stop in front of her building. And he jumps out of the cab, handing over the bills in a rush as he tells the driver to keep the change. Taking advantage of a guy stepping out through the main entrance, he makes his way in and darts toward to the elevator. But the numbers signal it is on its way up already.

He's a rational man and normally he would wait but not tonight.

He's a red-blooded man and it's like this time he's living life with no brakes.

Though his knees might be shaking

And every bit of him is frightened to the core

Nothing will stop him.

He's never been more sure of what he feels.

How he feels.

Pushing the emergency exit he takes the stairs two at a time until he reaches the second floor. And as he walks down the hallway to door 206, Harvey Specter can't help but feel like he's falling upward. His heart is pounding hard. His warm blood is rushing through his body making him come alive for the first time.

And he can almost hear his future, and it's calling out his name.

Like a siren, love, challenging him to believe again.

He knows that in her arms, his heart won't break ever again.

He's determined and knows what he wants.

Knows what he needs.

Feeling almost breathless, he raises his hand and pounds on her door.

He can feel the air burning in his lungs.

And he patiently, but not quite patiently, awaits.

Then in a flash, the door swiftly opens to reveal her.

A frown drawn upon her questioning face.

Oceans of red is what he sees.

And he doesn't fail to notice the softness her expression takes when she realizes it is him.

_Oh it's you!_

But almost immediately a silent question follows and floods her expression with mild annoyance.

_What are you doing here, Harvey?_

And she takes a deep breath, probably feeling the raw energy radiating from his entire self.

He can feel himself exhale, and he's sure that his feelings, his thoughts are etched on his face. Donna Paulsen knows how to read him and in a matter of seconds...

She does.

And she knows

A flash of a smirk draws on her lips

Lowering her guard and taking three steps back

Eyes narrowing with a mischievous glint

She challenges him

_You really want it, Specter? Then come and get it…_

And that's the only cue Harvey needs and he charges forward for a kiss...

* * *

A/N Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Granted, the scenes can hardly be translated into words because the actors already gave us such magical performances.

Please let me know what you think, hard truths and all, otherwise, what are we doing? (feel the Harvey Specter/Donna Paulsen vibes?!)

Thank you for being such amazing readers. XO


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